Any institution that deals with children is a target for sexual predators: churches especially, but not exclusively. More than once, I have pointed out the fact that the public schools have a severe problem with this – a problem that dwarfs anything Independent Baptist churches or any other religious institution might have. I don’t say this to minimize problems the IFB might have with sexual misconduct or coverups. We have had some terrible cases of abuse that have done unspeakable damage to God’s children. There is no excuse for this. Our churches must take decisive action to protect our children. However, it has been estimated that as many as 10% of public school students will be the victims of some form of sexual assault while at school – much of it at the hands of teachers and staff.

I wonder why this hasn’t been exposed. We know all about the problems and scandals religious institutions have had. Why is there no concern about the public schools? The United States has 49.4 million public school students. If 10% of them have been the victims of sexual assault at school, that would mean almost 5 million victims. Why isn’t that the biggest scandal ever?

Whatever problems the world might have, churches should be on the front lines of protecting children. If anyone qualifies as a wolf, it would be a person – pastor or otherwise – who preys on children.

Take heed therefore unto yourselves, and to all the flock, over the which the Holy Ghost hath made you overseers, to feed the church of God, which he hath purchased with his own blood. For I know this, that after my departing shall grievous wolves enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also of your own selves shall men arise, speaking perverse things, to draw away disciples after them. (Acts 20:28-30)

I shudder at the thought that a child in any of our ministries would become the victim of a predator. We have spent much time over the years putting policies in place, developing solid training for our volunteers, and teaching our parents and children how to recognize grooming, what is appropriate and inappropriate touching, and what to do if an adult violates any of the boundaries we have put in place. I want to share some of the resources, policies, and training material we have used so churches can have the resources needed to protect their children.

First, I highly recommend educating yourself on the problems posed by predators. I’m sure there are several helpful resources available. I am most familiar with Anna Salter’s book, which was recommended to me years ago when I first started dealing with these things publicly. Don’t let your children read this book. You will be horrified by some of the things she describes. But you need to know the predator mindset, and there isn’t a better teacher than Anna Salter.

Second, contact your church’s insurance company. I guarantee they have abundant training material you can use in your church. Our church uses Church Mutual. They offer stellar training material and guidance for developing good policies to protect your children. I found this information on grooming outstanding and intend to incorporate it into our church’s training program immediately. We also run background checks on all our teachers, helpers, and volunteers. Church Mutual provides a convenient way to do this with minimal cost.

Third, we do a worker training night for two consecutive midweek services every January. We cover many topics, including our worker standards, goals and philosophies, church security, and so on. We also dedicate much time to policies about handling our children. We teach it to the whole church, with the children present. We show a video provided by Church Mutual on protecting children from predators. Some of what we discuss is uncomfortable, but we believe our children must understand what is in and out of bounds from our teachers and staff. We also discuss what children should do if someone touches them inappropriately. We teach the parents what grooming looks like and how to guard against it. And we reiterate our procedures every year in case someone makes an accusation against anyone in the church, including the pastor. I will include our discussion points at the end of this article.

Fourth, guide your church in handling an accusation against any teacher, volunteer, youth pastor, assistant pastor, elder, or pastor. We must remind the church how to handle an accusation against an elder (I Timothy 5:19-20). They should know that they will be given a fair hearing, and their testimony will be heard. Biblical rules of evidence should be clearly communicated in the church so that everyone knows what qualifies as “witnesses” (hint: that isn’t limited to eyewitnesses). I don’t believe the church should tilt the scales to the accused or the accuser, but should ensure a fair hearing. The accused should have the opportunity to face their accuser, and the accuser should have whatever help and support is needed. The church must be thorough in its investigation. We should strive to provide an impartial panel to examine the evidence so objectivity can be maintained. If the pastor or a staff member is accused, the pastors, elders, deacons, and, if necessary, a set of trustworthy, respected men in the church should conduct the investigation.

Fifth, the church should have a clear policy about mandatory reporting. We should recognize and acknowledge that the State does have authority in these areas (Romans 13:1-4) and that if crimes have been committed, the magistrate has God-given authority to “execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.” Mandatory reporting requirements should be fulfilled once a credible charge has been presented against any church member. The church should still do its own investigation but should fully cooperate with law enforcement as they do.

Sixth, churches should communicate what repentance will look like and how it will be handled. The Apostle Paul clearly describes Biblical repentance in 2 Corinthians 7:10-11. The marks of repentance listed here should be central to any expectation of repentance for criminal or immoral behavior, the kind of behavior that would invite an examination from the elders or the church. When we have had cases of immorality in our church, we have set clear expectations for the offending member so that he would know what steps we expected him to take. Included in our expectations has always been the demand for full transparency and disclosure. If the accused only acknowledges what he cannot safely deny, and only after he has been cornered by the facts, we do not consider this to be repentance. If the ensuing days and weeks produce a steady stream of new revelations that he is concealing, we believe him unrepentant. By Paul’s standard, repentance means that the person strives to come clean, carefully sets forth the full story of his sin, and takes decisive steps to guard against a return to the sin.

Seventh, churches should communicate what restoration will look like and whether a full restoration to a position is possible. Complete restoration should be based on the Bible, not on cultural demands. But some sins, especially sexual sins, would prohibit restoration to positions of leadership in the church. In cases when a child in the church is the victim of a crime, the offender should be excommunicated and should not be allowed to attend the church (the courts would probably mandate this as well). If there are no victims in the church, the church should still provide supervision and accountability (especially if the crime involves children). Violations of these supervision/accountability requirements should be treated as a severe offense and should result in further discipline.

Eighth, if a crime against a child has been committed by someone in pastoral leadership, the church should commit to informing other churches of the nature of the crime. They should tell other churches when the church has regular fellowship or shared activities with those churches. For instance, if the youth pastor has been involved with a teen in the church, the church should inform any church they have joined for youth activities, fellowships, school functions, youth camps, etc. This should be done in case there are other victims. It should also be done so that other churches will not move the perpetrator into a similar position in their church. Churches should also commit to full disclosure if contacted by another ministry that is considering the perp for a similar position.

Ninth, we should recognize that much of the “advice” coming from attorneys, including David Gibbs and CLA, is more about protecting the attorney and the institution than protecting the children. I’ve heard attorneys argue that you shouldn’t have any written policies because they will be used against you in court. I’ve sat through too many CLA conferences where they wanted permission slips and paper trails for every little possible eventuality. I believe CLA has been mainly interested in making you feel like you desperately need them to help you navigate all the legal landmines laid for your feet. When churches have needed actual legal help, they have found that CLA folds like a cheap suit. They don’t even offer sound legal advice. A pastor’s first calling is to feed God’s sheep; related to this is his duty to guard the flock against wolves. Having clear policies and enforcing those policies is necessary for the safety and well-being of the flock. If you lock your doors, refuse to allow heretics to fill your pulpit, and warn against false teachers, you should rigorously guard against predators who would harm your children.

Tenth, the most challenging scenario I can imagine would be if one of the pastor’s children were to commit a crime against a child. Four of my five children are adults preparing to enter the ministry. I know for a fact that I would struggle if one of them were to commit a crime in our church. For this reason, pastors must instruct the church diligently on what to do and ensure that the church knows to do what must be done despite the pastor’s protests.

Obviously, all of these things depend on leaders and churches with integrity. Short of that, a church can have employee handbooks as thick as the City Code Manual and enough policies to fill a small gymnasium, can have all the machinery in place to do the right thing, and yet the right thing will not be done. If the pastor is the wolf, extraordinary steps will need to be taken, or the church will be destroyed. May God deliver us from such a nightmare.

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These are the discussion points we use for our annual worker training:

We all need to understand that a church is a big target for predators of all kinds. The predator knows that there is no better place to encounter trusting people than at the church.

• Therefore, we absolutely must insist that we maintain protocols in this area.

• We must inform every worker in our church that we search all public records to ensure that you do not have any public criminal record.

• If you are unwilling for us to do this, please inform me immediately. Please give us a few weeks to replace you in your ministry.

• If you have a public criminal record, please tell us. If we discover it and you have not informed us, that would cause us more concern than if you had been up-front about it.

• Charges of sexual misconduct are much more severe and will be treated more seriously than a charge such as shoplifting 25 years ago. 

• Please be especially sure that we know if you have had accusations, charges, or convictions involving child abuse in any form.

• Our first priority is to protect the children of our ministry, then our ministry and yourself.

• The most common offender is not a stranger – the most common offender is someone known to you or your child, someone familiar to you.

Every parent should instruct their children that nobody is ever allowed to touch them in their private areas or see them without their clothes on. I tell my children that this goes for me, too.

I want our children to know the rules, too, so they will recognize if an adult breaks those rules.

No male worker should ever be alone with a young person – whether on our property or off.

As much as possible, two adults should be present with children.

When you are counseling, you should be in a visible place. If there is a window, it should be open, and you should place yourself so that you and the person you are counseling can be seen.

If there is no window, the door should be open, and you and the person you are counseling should be seated in a visible place.

Be careful about visiting alone. 

Never give rides to children without another adult present.

A pediatrician wrote an article about how to prevent the sexual abuse of your children. I won’t read the entire article, but I want to offer a summary of the main points:

• Understand that sexual abuse is most likely to happen at familiar places and be committed by familiar people – a good friend, close relative, babysitter, or familiar authority figure — someone you know well and are comfortable with. The number 2 most likely place where abuse will occur is at the church, particularly at youth group meetings. School, camp, and sporting events are other less likely locations. 

• Do not allow your children to go to slumber parties or sleepovers, especially if they involve large groups of kids where one kid being separated from the group would not be noticed. The author said, “I can’t tell you how many times patients tell me the first time they were touched inappropriately or the first time they saw pornography was during a sleepover.

• Be sure your kids know the difference between a “safe touch” and a “bad touch.”  Safe touches would be in areas not covered by your bathing suit – shoulders, head, and feet. Bad touches would be in areas covered by underwear and touches that make you feel nervous, scared, worried, or uncomfortable.

• Make sure your kids know it is never right for an adult to share a secret with you that you cannot discuss with your parents. If someone tells them that they shouldn’t tell their parents, they should tell you that as soon as possible – and make sure they know they will never be in trouble for telling.

• Watch for “grooming” behaviors – predators routinely seek to build trust with their victims, to endear themselves to their victims, and to put their victims at ease so that they will lower their defenses. They will often work to build confidence with the parents while looking for opportunities to be alone with their kids. As the pediatrician said,
  
  “They do this so that any accusations from the child will seem made up. This has happened in almost every situation I have seen.”

• Be very, very cautious of smartphones and tablets, even “dead” smartphones and tablets. So long as they have wifi capabilities, they can be used for apps and communication. I cannot say enough about this. Keep your kids off the Internet and social media except when you are directly supervising.
  
  “There are so many really clever ways for kids to hide their activity online, and parents are almost always behind the 8 ball on this.”

• Trust your gut. Your intuition, especially a mother’s, should never be disregarded. Better safe than sorry.

If a credible accusation of sexual misconduct is made against any teacher or helper in the church, including the pastor or deacons, it will be reported to law enforcement, and it will be thoroughly investigated by the church.

• If the accusation is made against a pastor or a deacon, every effort will be made to select an impartial panel of church members to investigate the accusation.

• Whenever possible, so long as the accusation doesn’t involve a pastor or a member of the pastor’s family, the investigation will be conducted by a pastor and the church’s deacons.

• If an allegation is made against the pastor, it should be made to at least two deacons.