Recently, a handful of preachers have pointed out our generations-old custom of hammering the men from the pulpit while giving the ladies a pass. Nancy Pearcey has done tremendous work explaining the history of this hostility towards masculinity. If you haven’t read Total Truth, I highly recommend it.

To give the cliff notes version of her history (a small part of this great book), the Industrial Revolution pulled men out of their homes and away from their families for most of the day, leaving mothers home to raise the kids. Pastors soon realized that mothers were overburdened with housekeeping and child-rearing and began directing their sermons at the wives to provide spiritual encouragement. The combination of a growing detachment on the part of husbands and fathers and an increasingly woman-focused pulpit ministry caused men to resent what they were hearing at church. Eventually, the men checked out altogether. Pastors gratuitously targeted these detached men as they catered to the women.

Thus, we have developed a 150-year habit of hammering the men annually on Father’s Day while gushing over the Moms on Mother’s Day. I’ve done it for most of my pastoral ministry (to my great shame). But I no longer believe this is Biblical. A Biblical pastor evenly hands out the rebukes and encouragements, not based on sentiment, cultural angst, or the congregation’s felt needs, but on the text’s meaning.

Continue reading “A Christ-Honoring Marriage, part 2” →